The World That Never Existed

"Where are you?"

That was all I asked. But the words that came back were something I never expected.

"Lost in the dreams of the world that never existed."

For some reason, that made me want to know more.

What kind of world? The first thing that came to my mind was probably what anyone would think. Maybe a world where I would finally be happy.

A world with the love of life.
A world where peace just covers me.
A world where I have more than enough money for all my needs.
A peaceful life. A life without constant problems.

That was the world I imagined.

But it wasn't.

"A world where expectations are less,
a world where this heartache never exists,
a world where I breathe without regret,
a world where this guilt stops washing over me daily."

I stopped there.

Wait...

What?

Because this wasn't about wanting more. It wasn't about a perfect life. It was about wanting a life where the heart could finally rest. A place where the things happening around didn't immediately become a question:

"Is it all because of me?"

A place where every mistake didn't come back again and again. A place where there was no constant feeling of carrying something heavy.

All she wanted was

Validation.
Peace.
A place where she could just be happy.

I wanted to know more about that world. I wanted to understand it. But all I got was:

"A non-existing world is not worth discussing."

And somehow, that sentence explained everything. Maybe because somewhere inside, she already believed that world was never going to happen. That the peace she wanted was too far away. That the guilt she carried was something that would never leave. That everything happening around her somehow came back to one thought:

"Maybe it's all my fault."

And maybe we all have small world which we wished ever existed, Not because we wanted to leave this world, but....
you know it very well..